


The Big Fairy Share Scare: Sparky Edition

by SparkyFan



Category: Fairly OddParents
Genre: Gen, Oh how I despise Chloe Carmichael..., She killed the show, Sparky is best character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyFan/pseuds/SparkyFan
Summary: (The 1st in a series of rewrites by me and my pal & fellow Sparky fan, BeastyBat93!) When a seemingly-perfect new girl comes to Dimmsdale and wins everyone over, Timmy & Sparky are the only ones who can't stand her. But when Jorgen comes with big news, it hits the fan from there!





	1. Chapter 1

SCRAPPY-DOO-FAN and BEASTLYBAT93 proudly present

Nickelodeon's **_The Fairly OddParents!_** in:

"THE BIG FAIRY SHARE SCARE: Sparky Edition"

(GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! This is my first PUBLISHED collaboration on this site EVER!)

IN MEMORIAM: Adam West, aka "CATMAN"! We'll miss ya, buddy!

STARRING THE VOICES OF:

  * TARA L. STRONG as Timmy & Timmy-bot Mech Suit
  * DARAN NORRIS as Cosmo, Jorgen & Dad
  * SUSANNE BLAKESLEE as Wanda & Mom
  * CAM CLARKE as Sparky
  * KARI WAHLGREN as Chloe Carmichael (aka Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes)
  * CARLOS ALAZRAQUI as Crocker, Crocker's Mom
  * MATTHEW LILLARD as The Giant Orange Radioactive Monster
  * JIM WARD as Chet U. Betcha, Groundchucks, Fire Hydrant Guy
  * ERIC BAUZA as Foop, Masked Killer
  * DANTE BASCO as Crash Nebula/Sprig Speevak
  * PHIL LaMARR as Fairy Council Leader



CHAPTER 1:

Little Miss Perfect

It was a bright, sunny Tuesday morning outside of Dimmsdale Elementary. And who do we find there but our main protagonist, Timmy Turner, accompanied by his fairies, Cosmo and Wanda (in hummingbird form), along with his zany fairy dog, Sparky. Sparky, however, was in human form (from "A Boy & His Dog-Boy"). It'd been a few weeks since the "Anti-Sparky" escapade, and since then things in town had been pretty dull.

"Hey Timmy, what're ya doing?" asked Sparky.

"Just prepping the Timmy-bot mech suit for another mind-numbingly boring day of school!" came his owner's reply. The "Timmy-bot mech suit" in question was, as you might think, a robotic shell within which Timmy could take refuge for when he was too bored to put up with everyone's crap.

...Needless to say, he used it quite frequently.

"Sport, wouldn't it be smarter to actually listen & learn something?" Wanda asked.

Silence. Followed immediately by Timmy, Cosmo and Sparky's boisterous laughter.

"Oh, please, Wanda," Cosmo sighed, wiping a tear away. "Timmy's way too cool to be smart." Then, his eyes darted downward.

"WORM!" he yelled, and sped off.

"Besides, if there's one thing my mom always told me when I was a pup, it was to never listen to a crazy man," Sparky added.

Timmy pressed the "ACTIVATE" button on the suit's side, and it said in a robotic impression of Timmy's voice,

"TIMMY-BOT MECH SUIT ACTIVATED. RUNNING STANDARD STUDENT RESPONSES: GOOD MORNING, MR. CROCKER. MISSISSIPPI. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. A POTATO BUG HAS TWELVE EYES."

Then, its head split open like a melon, and Timmy hopped inside.

Inside the mech suit, it was much roomier than you'd think. Timmy leaned back in the control chair, and turned on a TV screen. After a brief flash of static, the screen showed a picture of a purple-eyed man in an orange-&-yellow cat-themed costume standing triumphantly in front of a blue background.

"A 'CATMAN' marathon!" Timmy grinned. "Now I can kick back & watch TV while my suit does all the work!"

Unfortunately, as John Steinbeck once said, 'the best-laid plans of mice & men often go awry', and the best-laid plans of a boy with fairy godparents are no exception to this rule.

Cosmo, still a bird, saw an empty spot in the Timmy-bot's ear.

"OOH!" he grinned stupidly. "this robot ear is the PERFECT place to build a nest!"

Without thinking (the same way he does EVERYTHING else) Cosmo jammed the sticks into the ear canal, which pushed a button.

Inside the suit, klaxons began blaring, and a screen over the button started flashing in neon-green letters: AWKWARD GRADE-SCHOOL DANCE.

"Oh, NO!" Timmy yelped. "Cosmo hit the 'AWKWARD GRADE-SCHOOL DANCE' button!"

He then proceeded to yelp as the Timmy-bot Mech Suit began to flail around wildly while doing ridiculous dance moves, crashing straight through the wall of Mr. Crocker's class.

Sparky glanced at Cosmo and Wanda. "I better go after Timmy and make sure nothing worse happens."

"That's a good idea, Sparky," Wanda suggested, as Sparky crouched on all fours and dashed through the hole.

Meanwhile, in the sparking, sputtering insides of the T.B.M.S., Timmy grumbled, "Well, that went bad fast."

"GOOD MORNING, MR. CROCKER," the suit spoke.

The hump-backed, glasses-wearing teacher poked his head up from the pile of rubble behind the desk. "Well, it's ruined now because YOU'RE here, Turner! And..." he turned to Sparky. "Who the heck are YOU?"

"I'm, um...Cameron...Clarke?" Sparky said, in a questioning tone.

"Seriously? That doesn't even SOUND like a real name!" Crocker snapped.

"A POTATO BUG HAS 12 EYES," The Timmy-bot repeated, before leaping out of its chair and doing more dance moves. "CABBAGE PATCH. SHOPPING CART. HOKEY-POKEY."

"I don't have time for your nutsy dance fever, Turner!" Crocker snapped, before a pair of curtains dropped down with a rope. "Because...live from Dimmsdale Elementary, it's THE DENZEL CROCKER SHOW! Featuring Mother's band, The Never-Satisfied 5!" he grinned, gesturing to a quintet of old ladies, and his mother was at the front of them.

"YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A DOCTOR!" she yelled, before Crocker got in her face.

"And YOU could've been more patient!" he replied, before turning to the kids. "Get it? Doctor? Patient? That's talk-show humor!"

Sparky, or "Cameron", just rolled his eyes.

He leapt back over to another curtain and rope. "Anywho, it's time to introduce a brand-new student! She's brilliant, motivated, and won the Nobel Prize for niceness!"

"Wait, that's a category?" wondered Sparky.

"In short, she's THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF TIMMY TURNER!" the camel-spined teacher screamed.

"M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-P-P-P-P-P..." droned the Timmy-bot as black smoke began pouring from its ear.

"Right on cue, Turner!" Mr. Crocker chastised, grabbing the rope. "Please give it up for...THE NEW GAL!"

He pulled the rope, yanking away the curtains, revealing a girl with platinum-blonde hair with a purple headband & flower, freckles, and a yellow-&-white dress. And the icing on the proverbial cake? A gigantic crown atop her head.

"Um, thank you, Mr. Crocker, but I think the crown's a little over the top," the girl commented.

"Oh, NOTHING'S too good for the little lass who saved the world from a terrifying monster created by radiation," Crocker beamed.

Sparky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. Like THAT ever happened."

"ROLL THE CLIP, MOTHER!" Crocker shouted. Crocker's mom turned to a TV nearby and turned it on.

In the clip, it showed people running away from a gigantic orange one-eyed creature that stomped through a city.

Everyone ran-that is, except for the new girl, who simply stood her ground. As the monster lifted his foot over her head, she noticed that there was a gigantic tree lodged in his foot. She jumped up, and pulled it out with a wet "POP"!

The second she did that, the monster stopped roaring. "You..." he started, picking the girl up in his massive hand. "you took the pain away..."

"All you need now is a hug!" the girl said, leaping up and clinging to the side of the monster's face. Sparky's jaw hit the ground. This monster didn't need something stupid, like a dopey hug! What he NEEDED was to be VAPORIZED INTO ATOMS!

"I respect you, Mister Radiation Monster, and accept you for who you are: a foul-smelling creature that crawled out of the bay to destroy our city." the girl continued.

The monster burst into tears. "YOU REALLY GET ME!" he sobbed.

"Without further ado, I give you, the perfect human-CHLOE CARMICHAEL!" Crocker continued after the clip ended.

Sparky scoffed. 'Perfect human'? HA! As if there WERE such a thing...

"Hi, everyone!" Chloe spoke, still cheerful as ever. "That was just some stuff I did-no big deal. I'll take my seat now."

She walked to her desk, and Crocker went back to his.

"Don't sit too close to Turner-his astounding lameness may rub off on you." he advised.

Sparky growled quietly under his breath. Nobody got away with insulting HIS best friend!

The Timmy-Bot was now churning black smoke from both earholes. Timmy frantically pushed buttons and yanked pulleys.

"Timmy...suit...worst...idea...ever!" he panicked.

"EJECT. EJECT." droned the Timmy-bot as its head split open, launching Timmy out. It then got up and began walking away.

"GAH!" howled Crocker. "IT'S THE ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO-TURNER'S MULTIPLYING!"

"Okay, nothing to see here, moving on!" Timmy warned, going back to his seat. Chloe, meanwhile, was on her phone.

"I'm sorry, Mr. President, I'm in class right now & I can't talk." she said. "Oh, don't cry, I'll call you during Nutrition Break."

Cosmo & Wanda poofed onto Timmy's desk as pencils.

"I gotta say, that Chloe is pretty impressive." Wanda commented.

"Pfft, big whoop, so she has the President's phone number," Timmy snapped. "I'm best friends with a magical talking dog who can drive!"

"Well, she IS pretty sharp," Cosmo replied.

"Unlike you!" Sparky added.

"Chloe's making the rest of us look like losers!" Timmy griped. "I am NOT a fan, and believe me-no-one else is, either."

Chloe held up her iPad. "Excuse me, Mr. Crocker? I checked the school calendar, and it's a parent-teacher conference day, so we shouldn't even BE here!"

The other kids let out a cheer. "CLASS DISMISSED!" Crocker yelled, ecstatic. "THIS IS FANTASTIC! I HATE SCHOOL!"

And the children headed out, carrying the little goody-goody on their shoulders, cheering, "WE LOVE CHLOE! WE LOVE CHLOE!"

"Hey, everyone, you wanna come over to my house and see my exotic animals I rescued from poachers?" she asked. "I've got lemon squares and gift certificates for EVERYBODY!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" the kids cheered as they ran out the door.

"Aw, let 'em go. Who cares?" Timmy shrugged. "because I've got something Chloe doesn't have-my FAIRIES!"

"You got that right, Timmy!" Cosmo grinned. "Well, see you later! Gift certificates are my jam, especially the ones for jam!"

"I'll stay with ya, sport!" Wanda smiled. "No way, Wanda! You're good for an extra gift certificate!" Cosmo smirked, before grabbing his wife and leaving.

"Well, ya still got ME, Timmy." Sparky grinned. "So WHAT if some little-miss-perfect shows up with lemon squares & gift certificates? I'd stick with you until the end of time, and even then I'd still stay by your side."

"Thanks, Sparky," Timmy smiled. "Great to know you're the only friend I can still count on."

As they headed out, the Timmy-bot blew up, taking out the whole classroom.


	2. The Big News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's still seething over recent events, though Sparky cheers him up. But when Jorgen shows up with big news...uh-oh!

**_Chapter 2:_ **

**_Jorgen's Big News_ **

**_(in which the you-know-what hits the you-know-where)_ **

****

Timmy and Sparky were heading home in Sparky's van ( ** _from "The Wand that Got Away"_** ), except now it had been spruced up to have a more 90s-esque paint job. Finally, they came to a halt in the driveway, and Timmy & Sparky got out. By now, Sparky had returned to his normal form. Naturally, the people of Dimmsdale weren't exactly high when it came to brainpower, so nobody really questioned a dog being able to drive.

"Finally, we're home-where we don't have to hear about how everyone LOVES Chloe!" Timmy mocked, stepping inside, only to see-

Timmy's dad, wearing a periwinkle "I 3 CHLOE" T-shirt. "I LOVE CHLOE! I LOVE CHLOE!" he cheered.

Sparky sighed. "I didn't think it was possible to ruin my favorite color for me, but I guess I was wrong."

Timmy could only facepalm at this point. "You gotta be kidding. How do you even KNOW her?"

Mr. Turner held up a bag of money and a handful of dollar bills as well. "She gave me a stock tip, and now I'm filthy-rich!" he grinned.

"Gimme a break, Dad." Timmy groaned.

"CALL ME 'FILTHY'!" Mr. Turner insisted.

"The word I'm thinking of calling HIM can't be said around small children." Sparky muttered under his breath.

Just then, Timmy's mom entered the living room-but she was all decked out and looked spectacular. "Hi, Timmy. Hi, filthy."

"Mom?" Timmy wondered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Timmy," Mr. Turner insisted. "this gorgeous woman isn't your mother!"

"It IS me, dear," Mrs. Turner replied. "Chloe gave me a gift certificate for a makeover. Do you like my new look?"

"Of course I do!" replied Mr. Turner. "but don't tell my wife!"

"I _am_ your wife," insisted Mrs. Turner. But, since he's a flippin' idiot, Mr. Turner wouldn't listen.

"BEGONE, TEMPTRESS!" shouted Timmy's dad. "You're giving me the TINGLES!" (Hey, writers, keep it TV-G; this is a kids' cartoon, remember?)

Timmy rolled his eyes, and walked outside. "I was going to chat with Missy online, but the lingering stench of Chloe sickens me. Today can NOT possibly get any worse." he grumbled.

"...care to RE-PHRASE that?" asked Sparky, pointing across the street. Because next door was-you guessed it-Little Miss Perfect, Chloe Carmichael, having a huge party with exotic animals.

"Hey, Timmy, Sparky! Guess what?" asked Wanda, in human form. "Chloe is our new neighbor!"

Then, Cosmo popped out of a kangaroo pouch. "Timmy, Sparky! Chloe has a dog with a pocket!"

Crocker was letting a peacock peck bird food from his palm. "I'M FEEDING A PEACOCK!" he screamed ecstatically.

Then, Chloe leaped up over the fence. "HI, TIMMY! HI, TIMMY'S DOG!" she yelled.

"AAAAAAAUGH! This stupid girl is RUINING MY LIFE!" screamed Timmy, slamming the door. Then, the door fell on him!

"STUPID DOOR!" Timmy yelled.

Suddenly, Vicky's little sister Tootie raced over. "*gasp!* OH, BOY! TIMMY'S UNCONSCIOUS AGAIN!" she squealed. "NOW I CAN PASSIONATELY GIVE HIM MOUTH-TO-MOUTH UNTIL HE WAKES UP!"

Sparky growled and barked at her loudly.

"AAAAAAH! SCARY DOG!" she yelled, running away.

Later, Timmy stormed into his room with Sparky. Cosmo and Wanda poofed back in, with Wanda holding a tray full of something.

"Timmy, you seem kinda tense," Wanda observed. "you know what would help? One of Chloe's lemon squares."

Timmy just grabbed the tray and threw it at the window, and Sparky used a magic beam to vaporize it.

"THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF THOSE STUPID LEMON SQUARES!" Sparky snapped.

"I... _NEVER_...WANNA...HEAR...THAT GIRL'S...NAME... ** _AGAIN!_** " Timmy roared.

"Oh, you mean Chloe?" asked Cosmo. "the WONDERFUL girl who gave me a gift certificate for my new phone? DUCK LIPS!"

Cosmo and Wanda then proceeded to do that idiotic "duck-lips" face as Cosmo took a selfie of them.

"You do THAT again, and I'll go Utrom Shredder on the BOTH of you." Sparky grumbled. "Anyways, I don't see what's so great about that little brat. I despise her with EVERY fiber of my BEING. Nobody THAT perfect should even EXIST!"

"But you know what? I don't care!" Timmy resolved. "because I've got something that Chloe will never, EVER have-fairies that are mine, all MINE!" he leaped into the air and hugged Cosmo, Wanda, and Sparky.

Suddenly, in a burst of smoke, Jorgen von Strangle appeared.

"TIMMY TURNER!" he boomed. "YOUR FAIRIES ARE NO LONGER ALL YOURS!"

"WHAT?!" asked Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Sparky.

"Seriously, what? I wasn't listening." Cosmo added.

"Due to an overwhelming demand, as well as fairies taking on better-paying jobs in the fancy candle industry, there is a fairy godparent shortage. So now, Turner, you will have to share your fairies with another godkid!" Jorgen explained.

"I have to sh...sha...shuh..." Timmy stammered, before Jorgen grabbed him.

"SPIT IT OUT, BOY! THE WORD IS 'SHARE'!" he roared. "I'M FREAKIN' OUT!" Timmy yelled.

"Okay...just tell me who I have to sh-sha-shuh-my fairies with." he finally spoke.

"She is smart, speaks Dolphin, and won the Nobel Prize for niceness!" Jorgen grinned.

At this, Timmy and Sparky knew just WHO the big musclehead was talking about.

"Ohhhh, no. NO. WAY. IT CAN'T BE!" Sparky groaned.

"That's right-IT'S CHLOE!" Jorgen grinned.

At this point, Timmy and Sparky had only one word to express their feelings about this turn of events: " _ **NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!**_ "


	3. Getting Away from the Goody-Goody

Continuing from our previous chapter, Timmy and Sparky were still expressing their opinion on the recent development:

"...O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!" then, finally, they stopped.

"Wow. 47 straight hours," Wanda remarked, checking a stopwatch. "you've broken your previous record for fruitless panic!"

"I'm...just...catching...my breath..." Timmy gasped. Then, he and Sparky resumed screaming, "*deep inhale* NO-O-O-O-O-O-" but were immediately cut off when Jorgen wand-smacked them over their heads.

"GET A GRIP, TURNER!" he yelled. "SHUT UP, MUSCLEHEAD!" Sparky snapped.

Cosmo floated over to the two. "Psst...don't tell Timmy, but I'm secretly excited to be Chloe's godparent!" he whispered.

"I AM TIMMY!" Timmy snapped, leaping to the ground.

"And here's what I don't understand-everything about Chloe is PERFECT!" Sparky glowered. "So why the devil would SHE even NEED fairies! Don't the rules say that a kid has to be MISERABLE to get fairies?"

"Everything has a reason, dog-except for fanny packs. JUST HAVE THE GUTS TO CARRY A MAN-PURSE!" Jorgen roared. "Anyway, becoming a fairy godkid is a bit of a shock, so we'd better break the news to her gently."

He poofed them all away...

ELSEWHERE, IN CHLOE'S ROOM...

Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Sparky, and Jorgen suddenly appeared while Chloe was doing some rock-climbing on the rock-climbing wall in her room. (Once again, HOW in the hell did she get fairies? She's CLEARLY not miserable!)

"SURPRISE!" Jorgen boomed. "YOU'VE GOT FAIRIES!"

"STRANGER DANGER!" Chloe screamed. She quickly grabbed Jorgen's elbow, and judo-flipped him into a corner.

"Okay, I will admit, that WAS kinda funny," Sparky admitted.

"OOH! I like this kid! She's got SPUNK!...and the heel of her foot on my windpipe," Jorgen choked.

"This is a dream, right?" Chloe asked. "But you wouldn't know that since you're part of the dream. Unless I'm going crazy. Am I going crazy? Or am I dreaming I'm crazy?"

"I vote for crazy," Timmy replied. "C'mon, guys-we're outta here."

"You are NOT going crazy, small spunky girl. For I, Jorgen von Strangle, have come from Fairy World to give you your fairy godparents to grant your every wish!" Jorgen explained.

"I'm Wanda!" Wanda introduced herself.

"and I'm Wanda!" Cosmo replied. But, then he realized he got it wrong. "Aw...I practiced that."

"Wait...I have fairy godparents?" asked Chloe, clearly having difficulty processing the info, but not as much difficulty as Cosmo has accomplishing the most simple tasks. "Excuse me...I need a moment alone."

She walked into her closet & closed the door. Then, she started screaming, "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!..." for an entire day and an entire night.

Finally, she exited the closet, calm as can be.

"Sorry...went a little cray-cray there, but I'm good now." she said.

"No kid says that, for the record." Sparky piped up.

At this, Chloe's eyes began to sparkle. "OH MY GOSH, IT'S A TALKING DOG!" she quickly raced over to Sparky and prepared to pet him. "Who's a good boy? YOU'RE a good-"

"You bring your hand any closer to me and I'll bite the crud out of it!" Sparky growled, baring his teeth and making Chloe withdraw her hand.

"Oooookaaaay...but I swear I'm gonna make you like me SOMEHOW! Everyone else already does!" Chloe grinned.

"Good luck with that, goody-goody," Sparky sneered. "You might have to share Cosmo and Wanda, but I belong to Timmy only."

"That's right!" Timmy smirked.

"Anyway, it feels unfair that I have 2 fairies. Shouldn't I share them?" Chloe asked.

"You ARE sharing them-with TURNER! And it's not so much TWO fairies as it is a fairy and 1/2." Jorgen explained.

"I'm the 1/2, right, Wanda?" Cosmo asked. "Of course you are, sweetie." Wanda replied, exasperated.

"I KNEW IT!" Cosmo cheered.

"Now, you two kids figure this out while I go to the hospital and get my windpipe replaced." Jorgen added.

Then, in a "KA-BOOM!" he was gone.

"So, Chloe, are you ready to make your first wish?" Wanda asked.

"First off, I wanna say how EXCITING it is to meet you guys and-" Chloe started, but then Timmy cut her off.

"OKAY, TIME'S UP! I wish that I was as far away from Chloe as POSSIBLE!" he yelled.

Cosmo and Wanda looked at each other, and then-

*FAR AWAY!*

-they reappeared in a dark, dingy cavern full of snarling mole mutants.

"Where ARE we?" asked Timmy.

"Center of the Earth, sport-home of the hideous mole people," Wanda explained. "as far away from Chloe as possible!"

The snarling mole-mutants began approaching our heroes. Closer and closer they came.

"It's what you wished for, Timmy! You're welcome!" Cosmo grinned, stupid-as-can-be (and maybe MUCH more stupid than that). "Wanda! Get a picture of me with the bleached bones of those who came before us!" he stood by a pile of human skeletons.

And while that happened, Timmy was carried off by the mole-mutants, or the Groundchucks.

Suddenly, the ceiling burst open, and in the smoke, a dark figure leapt down into the Groundchucks' domain, with only one thing to say...

"HARM ONE HAIR ON THAT BOY'S HEAD, AND I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!"


	4. Sparky VS. The Mole-People (In Sensational Sparky-Vision!)

As the fog cleared, Timmy got a better look at the mysterious figure. It was none other than Sparky, clad in Dark Laser's dark powers suit (from "The End of the Universe-Ity"), except modified so that he could wear it.

The mole-people snarled and lunged to attack, but Dark Spark would have none of it. His hands shot out, and from them came lightning that electrocuted the mole people and sent them flying. Several more Groundchucks attacked, but Sparky used his magic to create a yellow lightsaber, which he used to hack and slash at them until they were nothing but chunks.

Timmy laid on the ground, awaiting his fate, but when he opened his eyes, he saw...Sparky, extending his paw to him. Timmy smiled, clutching his fairy dog in the mother of all bear-hugs as tears ran down his face. Sparky smiled back, happy that his best friend was safe and sound.

But the mole people weren't through yet. Luckily, Sparky had a little surprise for them. He put his hands together and formed a crackling, glowing ball of energy. And everyone knows that moles utterly detest bright light, so the mole-people hissed and ran away.

Sparky took the energy ball, and channeled it into his hands. Then, he used his dark powers and magic powers combined to tear open the ground, causing magma to flow into the chambers, ensuring that the mole people wouldn't be coming back...EVER.

"BANZAI BUBBLE!" Sparky called out, and a bubble-like ball of energy formed around them as he lifted the both of them out of the sewers and back to the surface.

"Sparky..." Timmy sniffled. "...you saved me..."

"Of course I did! You're my best friend," Sparky grinned, giving Timmy a friendly lick. "I'll never let anything happen to you! I'll beat the crud out of any monster that lays a finger on you, and then we can go watch _Crash Nebula_ or _Maho Mushi_ or whatever's on!"

"Thanks, Sparky," Timmy smiled, wiping his face off. "but we've stil got a few problems to deal with, and the problem at the top of the list is Chloe Carmichael."

Timmy and Sparky stomped into Chloe's room, only to find Cosmo and Wanda showing Chloe photos from Cosmo's phone.

"Thanks for NOTHING!" Timmy snapped. "You sent me to the Earth's core to get eaten by mole mutants and then ditched me! Good thing Sparky actually saved me!"

"You think YOU got problems?" asked Cosmo. "I blinked in my selfie with the skeletons!"

Sparky was just about ready to tear Cosmo's throat out, but Timmy petted his head to calm him down.

"Whatever...I think I figured out a way to solve this; Chloe, just pick the day you want the fairies," Timmy explained.

"I think I'll go with Friday, cause there's no homework," Chloe decided. "although sometimes, I do extra credit. Oh, I dunno what I like better-getting wishes or extra credit!"

"I know what I like-YOU shutting up," Sparky smirked. "Goody-goody. Teacher's pet. Bootlicker. Brown-noser. Apple-polisher. Butt-kisser!"

"You say 'butt-kisser' like it's a BAD thing!" Cosmo said.

"Cosmo, Wanda; I wish there were no more Fridays!" Timmy demanded.

They waved their wands and-

* ** _NO FRIDAYS!_** *


	5. Foop Returns...YET AGAIN/Share-Mageddon!

Suddenly, everyone heard maniacal cackling. It was none other than that awfully-fiendish Anti-Fairy baby, Foop, who streaked through the sky on his Rocket-Rider.

"Timmy Turner!" he announced evilly. "Happy 'the day formerly known as Friday'! Once again, your careless wishing has set in motion a chain of events that will result in the destruction of the planet! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Then, he turned & saw Chloe. "Hello, little girl. Seeing as we're not quite acquainted yet, here's my card." he then took out a batarang and threw it, lodging itself in the window.

Chloe leaned over to read it. "' ** _FOOP: Enemy of Fairy World, Bringer of Woe, Harbinger of Doom, Lose Weight, Ask Me How_** '. Excuse me, Mr. Foop? You misspelled the word 'Doom'."

"Oh, thank you," Foop grinned. "I'll gladly repay you by making sure you experience a particularly painful DEATH!"

"Thank you!" Sparky said under his breath.

And with that, Foop sped off, cackling like a madman. Quickly, everyone poofed outside to see that things had erupted into chaos, with Foop leading an Anti-Fairy squadron in attacking people.

"How did my one little no-Friday wish lead to THIS?!" asked Timmy.

"Every Friday, the big wand in Fairy World gets recharged and protects Dimmsdale from the anti-fairies," Wanda explained. "but since you wished away Fridays, the wand hasn't been recharged!"

"Now, prepare to meet your DOOM! And my ba-ba!" Foop sneered. "It's full of chocolate milk, heated to A BILLION DEGREES! TASTE HOT, CHOCOLATY DEATH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He started firing choco-beams at the gang, who ran for their lives.

"Cosmo, Wanda-you still have some magic left?" asked Timmy?

"Well, I have 2 bars," Cosmo said. " but I wanna use them for an emergency!"

Sparky face-pawed. "This IS AN EMERGENCY, YOU BRAIN-DEAD IMBECILE!" he screamed.

"I wish Fridays existed again!" Timmy yelled. Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands, but-

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!" Foop snarled, blasting the wands out of their hands. "For once I'M in the driver's seat, and I'm not gonna let some beaver-jawed little snot and his jesters muck it up for ME!"

But before he could open fire, Jorgen appeared and baseball-smacked him away.

"FIRST OF ALL, LET IT BE FRIDAY AGAIN!" Jorgen roared, slamming down his wand and restoring Fridays to the calendar as everyone cheered.

"Second, Turner, you need to accept that you have to share your fairies with Chloe!" Jorgen demanded, pointing at Timmy, until...

**_K-K-KRUNCH!_ **

"YEOW!" Jorgen roared, lifting his finger to discover that Sparky had bitten it.

"I don't care HOW tough you are, you muscle-headed bully!" Sparky snapped. "next time you try and force anythin' on MY pal, I won't BE so nice!"

"Forget THIS noise!" Timmy snapped. "C'mon, Sparky-let's go watch TV. I hear the new "Crash Nebula" series is on- **_Crash Nebula & the Cosmic Defenders_**!"

"Cool!" Sparky grinned. "I hear Barry Gordon, Townsend Coleman, Jason Marsden and Dante Basco will be in THIS one!"

Timmy hopped on Sparky's back, and they poofed inside.

"Oh, I feel sorry for Timmy. It must be hard for him to share," Chloe said to herself. Then, she got a REALLY stupid idea. "Guys...I wish...everyone in Dimmsadale...would share EVERYTHING!" (Wait, even DISEASES?!)

"Aw, that's a lovely wish, Chloe...a wish that'll make the world a better place!" Wanda smiled. She and Cosmo raised their wands, and...

**_SHARING POOF!_ **

* * *

Vicky was terrorizing some random kid with a chainsaw when the Sharing Wish went into effect.

"Weird...I just got the urge to share my chainsaw." she said to herself. Then, she handed it to a big, scary-looking guy who resembled Jason Voorhees.

"Thanks," said the scary hockey-mask-wearing guy, and he and Vicky laughed evilly.

* * *

Back at home, Timmy & Sparky were watching **_Crash Nebula & the Cosmic Defenders_** when suddenly, it was interrupted by a late-breaking news report.

" _This is CHET U. BETCHA, reporting that as if by magic, everyone in Dimmsdale is sharing EVERYTHING!"_ Chet announced. " _in related news, this scary man in a hockey mask wants to share my desk..."_

The chainsaw-wielding guy I mentioned a few sentences ago proceeded to chainsaw-slice the desk in half, and carried away his piece.

"... _which is okay by me!"_ Chet grinned nervously.

Timmy and Sparky looked at each other knowingly. Then, Timmy began to twitch and spasm.

"Timmy, what's wrong?" Sparky asked. "I dunno-I have the weird urge to give away all my videogames!" Timmy cried, as he picked up a pile of videogames. "COSMO! WANDA!"

As if on cue, the two fairies poofed in. "Did Chloe make some sort of stupid goody two-shoes wish?" asked Timmy.

"She made a perfectly lovely wish that everyone would share everything!" Wanda smiled.

"Oh, that CAN'T end well..." Timmy groaned, knowingly.

And sure enough, he was right. Everywhere one looked, they would see chaotic "sharing" disorder gone crazy!

"Man, Chloe REALLY screwed up this one but good," Timmy smirked. "so I UNWISH Chloe's wish!"

"You can't! It's against the rules for a godkid to unwish another godkid's wish!" Wanda explained.

Sparky rolled his eyes.

"Chloe, you HAFTA unwish this stupid sharing wish!" Timmy ordered.

"Well, THAT's a little judge-y," Chloe remarked. "and besides, everyone's just going through a sort of...transitional phase to adjust to being less selfish!"

"Oh, really now? Are they?" asked Sparky. "because from what I can see, that tow truck guy's decided to share his hook with your house."

It was true. A guy in a tow truck had towed away Chloe's house, much to Sparky and Timmy's amusement.

"HEY! THAT'S MY HOUSE, YOU WACKO!" she yelled. "That guy STOLE my house!"

"Nope, he's just _sharing_ it, remember?" Timmy smirked. "After all, this IS what you wished for!"

Chloe turned to Timmy and Sparky. "Well? Aren't you guys gonna wish my stuff back?"

"Why would we?" Timmy smirked. "This is WAY more fun!"

"And besides, Chloe...we just really don't like you." Sparky added, with an equally-big smirk of his own. "Plus, the only one who can unwish it is the doofus who made the wish to begin with. In other words...YOU!"

Chloe sighed, resignedly. "Okay, it WAS a nutjob wish. Cosmo, Wanda, I wish everything was back to normal."

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands and...

Some random idiot ran by and took the fire hydrant. "I think I'll share this fire hydrant-we don't have one on OUR street."

Then, the resulting jet of water shot out and knocked Cosmo and Wanda aside. Then, the ground cracked open, and the mole people from last chapter crawled out.

"People of the surface realm," announced their leader. "prepare to share your bounty-AND your bleached bones!"

Everyone screamed and ran.

"Oh, it's happening again!" Chloe moaned. "every time I try to do something good, it just backfires on me!"

"What the devil are you yammering about?" asked Sparky.


	6. The Reason Revealed (Or, why the hell Chloe even got fairies in the first place, as well as why Timmy's been acting like a jerk throughout this story)

"Oh, it's happening again!" Chloe moaned. "every time I try to do something good, it just backfires on me!"

"What the devil are you yammering about?" asked Sparky. "You're little miss perfect!"

"Well, not really, Sparky," Wanda explained, poofing up the projector from earlier. It began playing the same clip from Chapter One.

_"I respect you, Mister Radiation Monster, and accept you for who you are: a foul-smelling creature that crawled out of the bay to destroy our city." Chloe said._

_The monster burst into tears. "YOU REALLY GET ME!" he sobbed, then he put her down. "AND NOW THAT MY FOOT FEELS MUCH BETTER, I CAN DESTROY THIS CITY!" he grinned evilly as he headed off to wreak more havoc. "ROOOOAAAAWWWWWWWRRR, MAN!"_

Then, the projector stopped. "See? I end up trying too hard to fix things and I make them worse, so nobody wants to be my friend," Chloe whimpered.

Timmy felt a little guilty...notice I only said A LITTLE. "Oh...don't be ridiculous." he said, uncertain in his reassuring.

"So you DO wanna be my friends?" Chloe asked.

"Whoa, whoa, don't get ahead of yourself, kid," Sparky snapped. "for what it's worth, we STILL don't like you."

"Okay, I've been TRYING, but WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?!" Chloe asked, annoyed.

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MY DEAL IS?! I'LL TELL YOU!" Timmy snarled, his eyes alight with a flame of fury. "A few months back, I did some good deeds for people that I knew, but NOBODY appreciated them! They just criticized them due to circumstances that were BEYOND my control!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't do good deeds to get rewards," Chloe interrupted.

"BUT I WASN'T! ALL I WANTED WAS A LITTLE RECOGNITION! JUST ONE STUPID LITTLE 'THANK-YOU' OR A 'WAY TO GO'!" Timmy yelled. "BUT NO-O-O-O-O! ALL THEY DID WAS NITPICK AND CRITICIZE! So I wished that I were never born in order to find out just how well everything was going without me."

"So you realized that everyone needed you?" Chloe asked, hopefully.

"Hmm...WRONG!" Timmy boomed. "Instead, I found out that everyone was BETTER OFF without me being born! And for making the world better, you'd think I would get some form of eternal paradise, right? WRONG AGAIN! Jorgen was basically going to send me to HELL! Do you KNOW what that's like? Living through every day, knowing that the world is better off without you? Oh, of COURSE not, because if YOU were wished away, society would CRUMBLE, because nothing can survive without LITTLE MISS PERFECT! Even MY OWN FAIRIES were happier not being my godparents!"

Cosmo and Wanda looked at each other, guiltily.

"Not to mention, they became EVEN MORE negligent after they had Poof, and one time when I ACCIDENTALLY lost Poof, then brought him back, Wanda zapped me into the alligator pit, even though Poof is IMMORTAL and can be easily-healed! And another time, when I read Poof a scary story for fun, they pretended to have become horrific monsters just to get back at me! How petty can you GET?!"

"Timmy...I...I didn't know...I-" Chloe started, but before she could say anything else, the mole-people attacked again. Chloe managed to stumble out of the way, but almost fell into a chasm. Luckily, Sparky's grappling hook ( _he keeps one in his periwinkle trenchcoat_ ) shot out and wrapped around her leg, pulling her to safety. As of now, Sparky was in his human form, "Cameron".

"B-but...I thought you didn't like me...?" Chloe asked.

"Maybe so, but I dislike seeing anyone die unless they truly deserve it," Sparky replied. "besides, maybe you could stop being such a perfectionist all the time? It makes everyone ELSE look like a schlub, like that time Timmy wished for an older brother."

"W-well...I guess I could try," Chloe blushed. She then kissed Sparky on the cheek.

"Well, fair enough," Sparky decided. "but even though you're sharing Cosmo and Wanda, I'd once more like to restate that I only belong to Timmy, since he's the one who adopted me."

But at that moment, the Groundchucks tossed Timmy into the chasm.

"TIMMY!" Sparky and Chloe screamed. Sparky turned to Chloe. "OK, you don't like me, and I don't like you..."

"I like you," Chloe admitted. "a whole lot, actually."

"Seriously?" Sparky asked, but then shook it off. "that's not important. We both like Timmy, and would hate to see him in danger or pain, right?"

Chloe nodded.

"Then we gotta save him!" Sparky replied, powering up his flight abilities and, with Chloe clinging tightly, flew into the chasm to save Timmy from falling to his doom.

And just when Timmy was about to be painfully impaled on a stalactite, Sparky grabbed him at the last minute and flew back to the surface. Luckily, they also managed to grab Cosmo & Wanda's missing wands.

Once they returned, Sparky decided to personally take care of the Groundchucks by pointing out that the surface is full of bright light, and ONCE AGAIN, moles hate bright light, so the Groundchucks returned to their underground chambers, unaware that they were full of molten magma.

"COSMO, WANDA!" Chloe yelled. "TO REITERATE, I WISH EVERYTHING WAS BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS _BEFORE_ I MADE MY WISH!"

The two fairies raised their wands, and-

**_*BACK BEFORE!*_ **

...but for some reason, they ended up back in the Dinosaur era, where they were attacked by a big green T-Rex.

"Man, how stupid ARE you guys?" Sparky groused, exasperated.

"Let me rephrase that," Chloe suggested. "I wish everything was back to how it was EXACTLY BEFORE I made my wish!"

Cosmo and Wanda once again raised their wands, and...

**_*BACK-TO-NORMAL POOF!_** *

Everything was back to the way it should be. "Y'know what? I think I'm officially DONE with wishes," Chloe decided. "you can have Cosmo and Wanda back if you want."

"Psst...don't tell Timmy, but I'm secretly disappointed," Cosmo whispered.

"I _AM_ TIMMY!" Timmy yelled. "And besides, you can have 'em. Who needs fairies that CLEARLY don't care about me when I have a fairy dog who DOES?"

"Eh, fair enough," Chloe shrugged, heading to her house with Cosmo and Wanda. "Bye, Timmy! Bye, Sparky- _kun._ " she punctuated that last part with a flirty wave and a fluttering of the eyelids.

Timmy and Sparky looked at each other and just shrugged.

Inside her house, Chloe glanced out the window at Sparky and sighed longingly. "Ooh, that Sparky...he's just so...so unbelievable. His very prescience makes my knees quiver, my girlhood tremble...oh, man I love him!"

Cosmo and Wanda looked at each other and shrugged.

And so, a few hours later, Timmy and Sparky went before the Fairy Council and asked them to make Sparky his legal guardian. The Council had decided that "if a boy can adopt a dog, then there's no reason a dog can't adopt a boy", and had made it so.

Afterwards, the two returned to Earth, joyfully laughing and cheering. So, they decided to celebrate their newfound kinship with a trip to the Crash Nebula universe, under their aliases "Kid Asteroid" and "Meteor Mutt".

"Okay, Cosmic Defenders," Crash Nebula, aka Sprig Speevak, announced. "Captain Laserpants is being held hostage by the Kludjulax, and we have to save him. So, can we do it?"

Bert the Poultrynaut whipped out his weaponry, Diff the Blobboid formed into a muscular giant, and Ani the Anti-Matter Girl charged up her antimatter energy attacks.

Kid Asteroid and Meteor Mutt looked at each other, then back to Chip, and said, "YOU BET YOUR ASTEROIDS!"

Then, they charged into battle, ready for action!

**_THE END!_ **


End file.
